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Who knew this was a food blog?

whiskey
Because the Petit Four adventure continues. I think even if the snack cake industry recovers, I like mine better. There's some indications my friends may feel the same way. :) In any case, they bravely are eating the experimentations, so I shall bravely carry on.

Cut for calorie consumptionCollapse )
foamy
or in my case, these [expletive deleted] burrs from the wasteland that was once our front yard.

Ten years of drought in Central Texas and our lawn is kinda like a tan crusty mat of Texas sand burrs. Looks just fine, actually. But over the past few years, those little fuckers have won the war and are finally in everything in the house. Throw rugs, upholstery, curtains, blankets, SOCKS, shoe soles, mats, towels, pants, chairs, ugh, you name it, you touch it, it's got sand burrs in it. I pick them off before I do the laundry. I pick them off after I do the laundry. I pick them off while I'm putting the laundry away. I pick them off when I'm getting dressed. I pick them off when I step on one and yell. I sweep them off the tile. They're an army of invasive little knives.

The jokes on them, though. They'll never sprout on the tile, so their journey to spread their seed far and wide was thwarted. Ha! Screw you, sand burrs. Unless they've taken over the landfill where my trash goes, in which case I guess they win. Dammit.

I've always been a grammar wank.

Jesus was a Hufflepuff
"Athiest: Most athy. More than just athier, but the superlative athiest. The highest athy one can achieve. Super athy at its best. Total athy win."

Hey, just because I make fun of someone's spelling or grammar doesn't mean I don't respect their religious beliefs or lack thereof. I once tried to beat my first husband to death with the coupon insert from the Sunday paper because he simply wouldn't use the subjunctive case properly. Don't read more into my comments than that. Kthxbai.

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petit fours
Recently, inexplicably, and ironically, I developed a four-box-a-week jones for Zingers. I did not believe that Hostess would actually go under. Ha. I still believe that America won't stand for the interruption in its critical Twinkie supply, and that someone will buy out the recipes and start making them again. In the meantime, of course, there seems to be both no rehab available nor really necessary.

I've taken to making petit fours, a delight of my childhood near New Jersey Italian bakeries. Because if I have to make little cakey goodness, there's no point in aiming for crap. Sure, it's fine for guilty pleasures, scarfing at midnight out of the box watching terrible tv. That's one thing. But if it's all a pain in the ass to make, it might as well be worth it. My friends are being awesome good sports at eating the beta versions. I loves them for it. <3 I'll post more iterations as they manifest.

Cakey porn behind the cut....Collapse )

Really not funny anymore.

head asplode
For the love of God, stop discussing the acts of the lunatic fringe as if they need to be addressed.

You can find idiots who want to secede from the Union in every state -- yes, even yours -- they're on the shelf next to the militia nuts. They've been hatching their crack monkey plots in their compounds or wherever. They just feel empowered enough to come out of the woodwork because previously rational people are now interacting with them. STOP THAT SHIT.

While you're at it, stop listening to Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck, and all the other hate-oriented, nonsense-spewing dipshits who wouldn't have any play in a rational world either if sanity came up for air. SERIOUSLY, QUIT IT.
I'll keep going...Collapse )
ladycaviar&#39;s hello felis
A fabric I designed made the first cut -- please vote for VELVETEEN MARINE
in the Spoonflower "Be My Hero" contest!

Velveteen-Marine

See how to hereCollapse )
bender
A Facebook friend of mine in Croatia posted this, which I think is hilarious. Not so much because it's really a funny joke, but because I recognized it without knowing Serbian so much. Good Lord, do I know the punchlines to so many stupid jokes?

Razgovaraju verenica, ljubavnica i domaćica o seksu, pa se dogovore da obuku crnu kožnu seksi odeću te tako iznenade svaka svog partnera.
Nakon nekoliko dana sastanu se ponovo.
Verenica: - "Joj kad me je video rekao je ženim te odmah i navalio."
Ljubavnica: - "Otišla sam u kancelariju, razgrnula mantil i kad me je video, prestao je raditi i navalio."
Domaćica (25 godina u braku): - "Ja obukla sve crno seksi, stojim kraj vrata, a muž otvori vrata, gleda i reče: "Betmene, šta je za večeru?"

[what, your Serbian's rusty?]
A single woman, an engaged woman, and a long time wife met for drinks after work. The conversation drifts towards their sex lives. Eventually, they decided to surprise their men by dressing up in sexy black leather outfits.
After a few days they meet up again.
Fiancee: - "We had sex all night, and he wants to move up our wedding date!"
Mistress: - "I went to the office, slipped out of the coat, and we had sex on his desk right then and there!"
Housewife (25 years married): - "I'm wearing all black and sexy, I stand at the door. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?'

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Oct. 14th, 2012

wedding
Perhaps some of my Russian friends can translate the following for me? I would be very grateful. :)
russian coats

from context and codebreaking, I got this

HepeA = front view
CNHHa = back view
Kpon = top/exploded view

Please excuse my pathetic excuse for Cyrillic. If I knew how to use Cyrillic characters, I'd have typed this into Babelfish or something already and not necessarily bothered all of you.

Apmrk = essentially Coat One, of some kind
3nHyN = Coat two

Can anybody tell me what kinds of coats these are?

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Wait...

foamy
ladycaviar, you haven't posted in nine million years and you give us this?


and


top on is my cat, Miss Sugars, and bottom one is the late Mr. Zonker, who now lives on my mantel.

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Art for art's s--holy crap, what is THAT?

ozone
In today's interlude, the Man and I find ourselves watching bad tv about an Australian artist who paints with his penis under the name of Pricasso.

oh, you can't make this upCollapse )

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