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Recipes for disaster, perhaps

More than one of my sweet angel friends have included me in a recipe-exchange chain letter. I have participated, because, well, hell, I'm bored in the kitchen and it's free. Cookbooks they is espensive. (However, the chain calls for forwarding to 20 of your closest friends, and famous as I am, I'm running out of multiples of 20 of my acquaintances who will put up with chain letters, so I'm gonna dump the next ones here.)

Before you make fun of my recipe, remember I went to cooking school. I know how to cook. I just don't care anymore.

Really freaking easy pie One ready to use crumb crust (I like Nilla Wafer, but graham cracker crust is just as good) Two different packages, small size (3.4 oz) different flavors of Jello INSTANT pudding. I like French Vanilla and White Chocolate 2 - 2/3 cups ice cold milk, divided pkg cool whip, thawed little decorations, if desired. I like Baker's semi-sweet chocolate shavings in the can. Take the plastic lid off the pie crust but don't throw it away. It's gonna be your pie lid. Mix up the first flavor of pudding with 1-1/3 cups of the milk, and pour it in the pie shell. Put it in the refrigerator to cool for about 15 minutes or so while it sets up. Mix up the second flavor, and carefully make a second layer of filling on top of the first. Refrigerate that until it's set up, and then put a pretty layer of cool whip on top. Decorate it with chocolate shavings if you want. If there's any pie left after dinner, use the plastic lid to store leftovers in the refrigerator. Great at 2 am when the kids are asleep. :)I think I horrified the crap out of bronx_baroness with my idea of "pah." You can make a hundred variations with endless choices of puddings and even cookie crusts. You can get all fancy by making the crust and filling from scratch, with real whipped cream and all, but I wouldn't waste my time. Somebody's just gonna scarf the damn thing up in less time it took to make it, and it doesn't matter what nice dishes you use, you're still gonna be the one who has to wash the fuckers at the end of the day. At least my pie takes only 20 minutes, and you can do it in your sleep if you're on Ambien. You can see what years of being unappreciated has done to my culinary prowess. You go full-out, and they descend like vultures and you wash a mountain of dishes. You phone it in, and they descend like vultures and you wash a mountain of dishes. My version of a freaky zen koan. It doesn't help that I still can't find my pans and we don't have a working oven. It's hard to "love cooking" with no tools as well as bad ghosts. A good southern cream pie goes a long way to fixing that. Ok, yeah, I miss madeleines -- but who wants to eat those alone? Or outside of Paris? Give me my damn pie. Thanksgiving this year is gonna be the same as last year. Smoked turkey barbecue carry-out from the place down the street, Stove Top, instant mashed potatoes, steamed microwave corn, (ok, I'm making lovely gravy--you can't take the saucier entirely out of the girl, and life's too short to eat crap-ass gravy), and vanilla-white chocolate Stupid Pah. Then we're watching Warner Brothers cartoons for the rest of the day instead of football. I think I'm gonna make the paper plates traditional, too.

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( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
bronx_baroness
Nov. 26th, 2008 02:15 am (UTC)
With all the other stuff we're making, I am sure Chirhart and I can find time to make a Rowena-isn't-here-to-eat-this-with-us memorial Stupid Pah in your honor.
ladycaviar
Nov. 26th, 2008 03:47 am (UTC)
OMG LOL! Don't hate me after all your good stuff! But I love you for it.

I read the stuff you're doing, and compared Thanksgivings, and I was exhausted just reading. More power to y'all -- you carry the responsibility of making sure our civilization doesn't devolve into Pop-Tart eating Wal-Mart going savages.

In theory, after the recipe chains finish, I should have enough easy, off the top of the head recipes with no weird ingredients to last me a while so that you don't have to read a news story about "Texas woman found at bottom of pile of pah." ;)
sunniva_kyrre
Nov. 26th, 2008 02:27 am (UTC)
I will have to make Rowena's Super Stupid Pie in your honor.
(Deleted comment)
ladycaviar
Nov. 26th, 2008 03:49 am (UTC)
Haven't met anyone yet who doesn't like it. It's like their guilty secret. Like we should all like sophisticated desserts, but our inner children just wanna get down and dirty with grown up mud pies.

Edited at 2008-11-26 03:50 am (UTC)
vikingtatter
Nov. 26th, 2008 06:20 am (UTC)
So why no oven?gas or electric..if gas maybe I can give assist-no I wont fly down there but I know you and can probably figure it out with a nudge
mooselover13
Nov. 26th, 2008 03:01 pm (UTC)
Sounds pretty much like my hubby's family's Chocolate Pie. Which reminds me that I need to pick up the ingredients or he's not going to be able to have it for Thanksgiving tomorrow.
shaunacarrick
Nov. 26th, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC)
I am sorry you are tired, and have no oven. I can relate, truly. Hope that you have a good day tomorrow, paper plates and all! Take care, and remember you are loved no matter where you are or what you do or don't cook!
umamah
Nov. 27th, 2008 09:30 am (UTC)
Well I would say next year Breezy and Raffy could do T'giving with ya'll lol but he has orders to come here once the equipment is put away.

So you should see us sometime at the beginning of the year maybe....

So off to sleep before the single army guy invasion force in the afternoon.....

Ham, Breezy's first turkey, sweet tators, mashed tators, green bean casserole, stuffing, cornbread and rolls, pumpkin and apple pies...and who knows what else will occur before my should says enough lol

stefwithnf
Dec. 2nd, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC)
variation on green-bean dish
I received your recipe-chain email, and probably won't participate because I just don't. However, I have a recipe that I will share, here. Since I personally dispise the traditional holiday green-bean dish, I took this one to Thanksgiving dinner with the fam-damnly, and it went over well. Mom called it "dirty beans," but I think to be the traditional "dirty beans," I'd have to have bacon grease instead of olive oil.

1-2 cups diced ham/turkey/beef/chicken/bacon/pork....whatever
1/2 cup diced red onion
2-4 cans cut green beans (or fresh, or frozen...yer choice)
olive oil

Additional (optional) ingredients:
sliced mushrooms
almond slivers
water chestnuts
small red beans
whatever else you think might work well to bulk it up

Stir-fry the meat & red onion, and any of the optional ingrediants, in olive oil until cooked through and there is a sauce. Add green beans, and continue to stir-fry until beans are coated with the sauce and warm. Serve. Prep/cook time is roughly 10-15 minutes.

This can be a main dish if you add enough meat, or it can be a side dish. Enjoy. :D
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )