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explain some things to me here

I was at a craft store the weekend before last, attempting to match yarn to a sweater. Next to my aisle, there was a couple in the Halloween decoration section, loaded up with cheap Halloween crap and selecting more. The man was holding a large styrofoam tombstone, and giving his girlfriend a hard time. She was trying to help him choose another, but he was being really picky.

"No, I don't want two the same," he snapped at her. "That would be a waste of money."

I thought this was obvious but I'm beginning to lose my mind. So far, everyone I've recounted this to has stared at me patiently waiting for the punchline. rejected it as "neither stupid nor funny." Is it only me, or are styrofoam tombstones themselves not a usual component of a solid investment portfolio, making the phrase "waste of money" eye-twitchingly redundant? Where is queued when you need him?

Please tell me I have a kindred spirit out there who gets me...


Val Roberts
Oct. 20th, 2010 03:18 am (UTC)
A waste in so very many ways....
Well, maybe I'm skewed, being an Idaho native (and grandchild of a poor Missouri sharecropper who lost everything in the dustbowl), but....

I'd consider him a prissy little fucker, because he didn't buy raw styrofoam, carve his own damned tombstones with individual sayings...patinaed, of course, with the airbrush attachment for his Craftsman 5HP air compressor.

And then recycled them, post-All Saints Day, into the insulation for the nesting boxes being built next summer for the endangered Eastern Red Squirrel.

The proceeds from the sale of which will go to www.heifer.org to purchase capital livestock for people struggling to make better lives for themselves in the developing world.

Prissy little fucker.

Who's queued?
Oct. 20th, 2010 05:21 am (UTC)
Re: A waste in so very many ways....
ROFLMAO! *wipes tear from eye* God I miss you, and Idaho...

Queued is my brother, who is exceptionally acerbic, and legendary in his inability to suffer fools gladly or in any other way whatsoever. ;)